I’m Dr. Trish Leigh, in this video, we’re going to talk about how to let go of shame and blame to be free from the shackles of porn forever. Ok in this video we’re going to talk about three things. Number one we’re going to talk about shame and blame and what they have to do with each other. Then number two we’re going to discuss your porn cycle and how shame and blame enter into it and keep it going. Then lastly number three is your brain tip for the day, what you can do to finally leave shame and blame behind so you can ride off into the sunset to reach your full potential.
What are they and how do you see that in your own life?
Shame is the feeling inside that I am bad so it’s kind of the evil cousin to guilt. Guilt can be a healthy feeling because guilt says inside I am doing something wrong and if that in fact is the case then that helps you to move towards change. But shame can be really really self-deflating and can create depression, anxiety, and a lot of feelings that can continue to drag you down. So what happens when you feel shame you feel like I am internally bad inside and the way that that plays out in blame can be in two ways. Number one you can blame yourself for a lot of things that are happening in the world. So if you hear someone when they’re golfing say I’m so stupid I didn’t get that shot I suck those types of things.
Well, that is self-blame those are negative thoughts towards the self. It’s a protective mechanism, fortunately, most people who have shame have acquired it in childhood. Either from traumatic events from family experiences, childhood experiences, or family systems or your parents may have told you those things on accident because they didn’t have the emotional maturity to be able to deal with you in a different way. Then you have internalized that so we need to get that out of your brain so that you can feel better, perform better, and reach your full potential. So self-blame is harming one’s self with your own thoughts and words.
How blame can manifest?
I see this with a lot of men that I work with who have a compulsive pornography habit. They feel shame because they continue to watch pornography when they’ve been trying to break this habit for a lot of time. Then of course if anybody addresses it with them or even if anybody addresses anything else that is a sensitive subject to that person. They are walking around with all this shame because they are acting out in a way that is not congruent with their morals. They are doing something that they don’t want to do and it feels bad to them and it makes them feel shameful. Therefore, they walk around with a lot of shame and then somebody says something to you, and then you blame that person. When you’re blaming that other person it’s a projection of the shame that you feel inside and it can really be a wild experience from outside of the box. So the way that it goes is you may lash out and yell at someone for something that they’ve done or that you perceived that they have wronged you.
More Information
If you’re interested in learning more about shame and blame, click the video linked above. However, if you’re ready to get the help you need then visit my website and join Porn-Free Brain Forever program or youtube channel for assistance in quitting porn for good.
