I’m Dr. Trish Leigh, let me tell you how. But what we’re going to talk about is how you can avoid a relapse forever and we’re going to talk about three things in this video. Number one, what causes a relapse even after a year. So that you know how you can avoid it. Number two is how you can avoid it and number three if you are struggling with a recent relapse how you can get back on the horse and keep moving forward. So that you can be successful in this journey.
What causes a relapse?
The three stages of the porn brain reboot, I am going to recap them here really quickly because they apply to relapse. I do want to say first that yes relapses are normal but I also don’t want to normalize relapses. However, I’m going to share with you these three stages of the porn brain reboot so that you can understand why they’re normal. Stage number one is ignorance. In stage one, you’re ignorant to the fact that watching pornography and consuming pornography in a chronic masturbation habit you don’t know they’re bad for you. You’re just happily engaging in your habit of going back to the screen it’s making your brain feel good, it’s helping you to numb out and escape those feelings of stress or emotional turmoil. Many people think it’s good for them before they see my videos because they think it helps them feel calmer and helps them to be able to do the work. That’s the A effect that you feel, but there’s a B effect where there’s increased anxiety and more.
Stage two is fained commitment. Fained commitment means you know it’s bad for you and you want to leave it behind or you want to want to commit. You’re not quite sure you totally can committee so it’s kind of like a half commitment and not implementing anything new. Therefore, fained commitment can lead to relapse quickly or after a year. In the recovery movement, there’s a saying that sobriety is not recovery meaning that you can stay away from your habit but if you haven’t healed your brain and grown it up. Then you really haven’t totally moved forward and that’s how fained commitment fits in because you haven’t developed your brain and healed it. You haven’t become stronger neurologically but also psychologically, socially, and emotionally you’re not really in a different state. When the hijacker comes knocking and you might not have the internal skills to be able to say to him not today dude. If you haven’t grown your brain and your life up then your not necessarily in a position to do that with strength.
Now in stage three of a porn brain reboot, you are 100 percent committed, and as you develop the commitment and the discipline and the resilience that you need. The hijacker doesn’t come knocking as often because you are not an easy target. If you have the proper tools and strategies, your learning and you’re undertaking the lessons that you need to grow. If you engage in the activities to keep moving forward then what happens is your much less susceptible to relapse and you have the tools to avoid them. Therefore, the way to avoid a relapse forever is to go from stage one to stage three as quickly as possible don’t linger in stage two of fained commitment for any amount of time. Join a program and participate fully and if it’s not my program, find a program that feels good to you so that you can get to actual 100 percent commitment.
What if you recently struggled with a relapse?
If you’ve struggled with a recent relapse I want you to ask yourself are you 100 percent committed because sometimes at the beginning phase of 100 percent commitment you may not have the tools and strategies yet. So if you have completely committed but you know you just joined a program two weeks ago and you haven’t gone through the lessons or activities yet you may not have yet developed the resilience. Therefore, extend yourself some grace because that is very normal and it’s ok to trip on your way towards being ultimately successful as we build these new neural pathways. So you might trip but if it’s been one year you should have been able to gain some strength in that journey so you’re no longer susceptible to relapses. However, if you have the feeling that you want to relapse you have the tools to avoid it in your program. So get from stage one to three as quickly as possible and start learning what you need so that you can avoid relapses.
So if you’ve just had a relapse I want you to deconstruct it. What went wrong? Do you have the tools and strategies? Do you have the support that you need? Are you engaging in the process? So that you can put this behind you if the answer is no then that’s what you need. You need to get 100 percent committed and start using what you’ve learned to your advantage. That hijacker won’t be able to get at you the stronger your brain becomes. The more you heal your brain the less likely you are to trip up, you need to build these neural pathways and go down the pathways a little bit.
More Information
If you’re interested in learning more about avoiding porn relapse, click the video linked above. However, if you’re ready to quit porn for good visit my website or youtube channel for more information.
