The holidays can be hectic in typical times. Right now, they are not typical at all. With many holiday events canceled or morphed into socially distanced events that coup your child up, these tips can help you navigate the brave new world of the holidays 2020. If your child has ADHD, it can create extra challenges. Here are some tips to make the season easier to manage. First are tips for thriving during the holidays in quarantine. Then, are a few classic tips if you are still able to go out for holiday events. With both, you will be armed with the tools to thrive this holiday season.
ADHD Tips for Holiday Fun at Home this Year
- Balance Activity with Relaxation Time
With school off for a little while, allow downtime for your brain and your child’s. By having organized activities and time together, balanced by alone time, your whole family will feel connected and relaxed? What does this look like in a practical sense? First, you can bake cookies together. As they cool, your child and everyone else can have 30 minutes of alone time. Then, the family can re-convene to decorate. Too much of a good thing, in fact, can turn bad quickly. Deliberate breaks help to keep the holiday fun going much longer.
- Quiet Time with Purpose
Some kids with ADHD get bored easily. Having individual games and activities prepared ahead of time can help keep your child busy and happy during the downtime. This can help give you the break that you need. Quiet items like books and crayons, devices with headphones, or simple card games can be fun for your kiddo when he is alone. Remember to balance the number of electronics so as not to overstimulate his brain. Have your child use some of his downtime periods to move his body. Outside to play basketball or in the snow can help to calm and relax his brain too.
- A Just-Right-Fit Job.
Kids with ADHD often do better when they have a job to do. However, oftentimes, parents may give their children too much to do. Burdened by a large task and with little time to replenish their brain, this may cause overwhelm in your child. During holiday prep time, ask what your child wants to do to contribute. You could “assign” your child to take pictures of the family with your phone as you decorate for the holidays. Finding a job that is the right fit for a child can be the difference between holiday fun and holiday meltdowns.
- Clear Expectations Given Ahead of Time.
Most people like to know what to expect. Kids with ADHD need this, even more, most times. They can get overwhelmed by changes to routines or new situations. Talking through what to expect can help. Explain timelines (“We’ll get the house ready for about an hour”) and outfits (“You don’t need to dress up, but please no gym clothes”). Be clear about your expectations, too (“Please no headphones once we get out of the car”).
- Small, Immediate Rewards for Success.
As the holidays approach, it can be tempting to use presents as rewards. Growing up I remember everything became a Christmas present after November 24th. However, try to avoid using the holidays as an incentive such as in “Be good or Santa will find out!” A better strategy is to offer your child small short-term rewards. Those tangible privileges that they can experience in a short time frame. For example, you can say, “If we can work together to clean up this afternoon, we’ll watch a holiday movie with popcorn tonight.”
Going Out and About This Year: ADHD Tips for People Still on the Go.
- Choose Holiday Events Deliberately.
If you are going out, set yourself up for success by choosing the events you most want to go to. Trying to do too much is a sure sign that you may overwhelm and fatigue your child with ADHD. The family party at Grandma’s house might be a must. But maybe you (or your child) can skip the gathering at your neighbor’s house later that night. Smaller, more active events, like building a snowman with a few friends, can be fun for everyone.
- House Rules Explained Ahead of Time.
Let your child know what to expect of the rules at others’ homes before they get there. Remember, that when you set your child up for success, you win too. If your child is not allowed to run around at his Aunt’s house, as he would at home, bring some quiet time activities for him to engage in if he becomes bored with less activity. This way you can visit with our sister and he will not be frustrated.
- Check-In, When Out and About
Make plans to check in with your child when you are out and about. You could create a “code” of sorts that your child could give you if he is struggling in any way.
- Shop with Savvy, Or From Home.
Lots of kids with ADHD have trouble with self-control. A trip to the mall this time of year, especially with masks and many stores closed, could be a lot to handle. Bringing children out into other’s pandemic stress can impact their own ability to regulate stress. Children with ADHD have a harder time with this in the first place. If your child tends to be overwhelmed by stores and people, consider shopping online instead.
Read the Signs
If you do go out, read your child’s signs and be ready to head home when you notice your child getting upset. It can be a lot to handle out there these days. When my kids were young, I was ready to leave at any point. With 5 small children, I taught myself never to commit to staying anywhere, ever. This freed my nervous system from the angst of what I would do if a child had a tantrum. Be sensitive to the notion that your child may be more impacted by holiday and pandemic stress and head home before overwhelming sets in. You all will be glad you did.
- Praise Goes Along Way.
When your child is behaving well during a holiday event, praise them. The old saying goes, you get more of what you find. If you find your child behaving well and praise him, you will get more of it. Make the praise specific so they know WHAT they are doing well. For example, “You’re doing a great job quietly listening without interrupting. I’m proud of you.” Recognition and praise mean a lot to everyone, but even more so to kids who have difficulty with self-regulation. The words of kindness will help them feel validated for their efforts.
More Information
If you want to learn more, visit Dr. Trish Leigh’s website to get more information about ADHD treatments and techniques.
