Yesterday, I overheard a woman having a stressful phone conversation. She complained about blowing up at one of her clients because she had to wait. She explained her situation to her superior. I felt this woman’s stressful demeanor before she even spoke. I listened to her conversation for 2 minutes. If you have ever been to a nail salon, then you know that one person’s conversation is privy to all.
I wasn’t irritated at all because I believe the Universe gives me these opportunities to grow. I consider them workouts to exercise my patience. I stayed calm and relaxed, even though I had to work harder at it with every passing second.
Brain Tip #1: If someone is stressed out, their brain is running very fast, too fast. If you stay around them very long, your brain will begin to run faster and you will feel stressed out. It is called attunement. Stay away from stressed people to keep your brain relaxed.
Her conversation began to stress me out and I quickly worked my options in my head: (1) put my earbuds in and relax to music (I always bring earbuds with me so I can block out unwanted auditory stimuli if necessary, (2) gently and lovingly ask her to finish her conversation later. As per my last post, I am working on speaking my truth as a way of personal development. I chose option two and I assumed it would have fallout, but I was ready and about to interrupt her.
Brain Tip #2: When in a stressful encounter, if you use cognitive appraisal, working your options, as a coping mechanism it leads to better outcomes. This is proven by science. Better outcomes create a positive feedback loop and increase quality of life. It gives you control of your world.
Suddenly, she stopped talking without ending the call or explanation. Thank you, Universe. I looked at the woman a few times during her call and a few times after, trying to make eye contact. She never noticed me, anyone else in the salon, or her environment at all. She was so in her head that it was painful for me to watch. I was trying to use “reverse attunement” on her by using my calm energy to chill her out. I am not sure it worked.
Brain Tip #3: If you get stuck in your head, use mindfulness to ground yourself in the people around you, your immediate environment, and your body.
When I get my nails done I use it as a meditation practice. Although I never speak to anyone when I am there, I am an introvert after all, I smile at everyone, listen to the music, feel the warmth of the water and the gentleness of the person doing my nails. I take it all in. This is how I strengthen my calm.
The Big Takeaway: Stay calm, don’t let others’ energy mess with yours, and take opportunities in your life to improve your life.