A Habit That is Breakable
Many people who are addicted to pornography find that masturbation can feel uncontrollable. The urges to go back to the screen and masturbate are too overpowering. Eventually, with enough consistent and frequent use, it will start taking over your life to the point where your relationships suffer, your mental health decreases, and arousal issues begin showing up.
However, choosing to leave masturbation and porn behind is a lot easier said than done, especially if one doesn’t have a partner. Many people feel that if they don’t have a partner, they have to resort to the alternative.
How to Stop Watching Porn Without a Partner
If you’re worried about quitting porn and masturbation without a partner, first, know that people don’t need sex to live happy and fulfilling lives. It’s a myth that men need sex to be content. There is so much more to life than sex, remember that.
When attempting to build healthy sexuality without sex, it’s important to note that porn and masturbation have very little to do with sex. In reality, it has more to do with mood regulation, self-soothing, and fighting off boredom. Up until now, porn has most likely been the number one tool for making you feel better.
After finding healthier self-care tools for your tool kit, you’ll realize how much less the urges to go back to the screen will be. When getting on purpose in work, relationships, and hobbies, life will become more fulfilling. You’ll no longer need porn to fill those gaps.
Why Does Porn and Masturbation Feel So Good?
The reason you’ve been relying on porn and masturbation so much is due to the enormous amounts of dopamine that they give you. The brain can’t get that level of dopamine anywhere else. Since dopamine is the neurochemical for pleasure, masturbating and consuming porn can feel better than anything and is easy to access, making this an easy and “effective” coping mechanism.
Unfortunately, this wave of dopamine causes a dopamine deluge in the rest of your life. This makes it so you only feel good and okay while watching porn and masturbating. The rest of life will seem dull and boring in comparison. This dopamine deluge will continue driving you back into the screen, creating a never-ending cycle of uncontrollable masturbation.
How to Build Healthy Sexuality
Connection is at the core of healthy sexuality. Finding connection with others can be done by:
- Grabbing lunch with friends
- Calling your parents on the phone
- Going to classes with like-minded people
- Writing in a journal to become more emotionally available
While focusing on connection and building up your relationships can go a long way in your recovery journey, finding hobbies you enjoy doing can also help fulfill you. Hobbies can include:
- Going for a walk in nature
- Learning how to play an instrument
- Filling up a sketchbook with paintings and drawings
- Creating new recipes
Choosing hobbies can help fill your free time up in a positive way, but finding joy in the mandatory aspects of life such as work, can prove beneficial as well. This can be done by:
- If you’re unhappy in your current position, explore a new job if it is within your means
- Take frequent breaks during work. The brain needs time to recover every hour of it processing information.
- Don’t let work invade your personal life. Leave work at work. Don’t think about it when home.
Lastly, making sure the brain has time to rest and recover can help prepare it for the next day. This include:
- Getting a good night’s rest
- Preventing stressful thoughts in the bedroom
- Avoiding excessive screen time late at night
When getting on purpose in life and filling your day with meaningful activities, the urges and cravings to go back to porn and masturbate won’t be as strong. You’ll have enough self-care tools to rely on to feel okay when having a bad day. Without outlets for stress and anxiety, you’ll revert to old neural pathways that will lead you back to porn and masturbation.